Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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