He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
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It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
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Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.