No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dating After Heartbreak
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.