i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
