I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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