around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
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