if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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