i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
