And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
