first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
