Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
