I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
