So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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