i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
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my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
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Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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