I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize