His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Even the bartender felt bad for me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize