He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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