It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize