everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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