i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
