shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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