Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
