soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
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Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
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I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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