we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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