hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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