sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.