end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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