My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.