$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!