He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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