I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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