Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.

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(619): We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling. http://tfl.nu/8xvz

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(954): View more from Florida

Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.

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(954): Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/pltj

Replies (17) Good night (3880) Bad night (1141) Order T-Shirt
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now

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(306): We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now http://tfl.nu/pjjq

Replies (23) Good night (3743) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.

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(908): Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain. http://tfl.nu/ncmc

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"

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(412): I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this" http://tfl.nu/4n5n

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(919): View more from North Carolina

and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket

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(919): and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket http://tfl.nu/744s

Replies (2) Good night (3111) Bad night (1171) Order T-Shirt
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(831): View more from California

So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.

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(831): So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that. http://tfl.nu/tpz4

Replies (21) Good night (2620) Bad night (3373) Order T-Shirt
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(931): View more from Tennessee

EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?

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(931): EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011? http://tfl.nu/cw71

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(562): View more from California

I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.

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(562): I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me. http://tfl.nu/m5b0

Replies (1) Good night (535) Bad night (956)
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(650): View more from California

It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.

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(650): It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag. http://tfl.nu/hxfk

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.

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(615): I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me. http://tfl.nu/vysn

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(515): View more from Iowa

You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.

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(515): You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it. http://tfl.nu/eptf

Replies (6) Good night (1832) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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(662): View more from Mississippi

Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?

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(662): Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!? http://tfl.nu/mo9h

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(515): View more from Iowa

Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?

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(515): Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/s6e2

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(937): View more from Ohio

Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.

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(937): Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills. http://tfl.nu/u4sm

Replies (0) Good night (213) Bad night (137) Order T-Shirt

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