You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
