Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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