Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
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