I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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