he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
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Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
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I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The convent might be a nice break from real life
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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