its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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