If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize