yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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