Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
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It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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