farters have to be the big spoon...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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