I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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