Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize