3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize