Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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