definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm sobbing to NWA
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
