sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
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So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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