you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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