Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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