So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly