Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
When did angry sex become our thing?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?