Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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